The Clown: The Deadly Grins: Chapter 0 In the Lap Dance of the Gods
In another parallel worlded story, The Clown: The Deadly Grins, set in 1984 in a world similar to our own, one big difference is, there is no Christianity. The overarching and dying religion is that of the ancient Greeks and their panopoly of gods. Here is chapter 0, with an introduction to these very moral immortal deities. I read it out, I know, I need some elecution lessons, but it’s the best voice I have at present. Below that, is the textm if you can’t understand my rambling.
Chapter 0: In the Lap Dance of the Gods
‘Streuth! Will you throw another shrimp on the barbie?’ Streuth’s wife and twin sister called. It wasn’t two people calling out in unison. Streuth, king of the Geek gods, had married his twin sister. His first courting attempts had been roundly rejected. And probably for good reason. What decent girl would ever set her sights on marrying her twin brother? So Streuth had tricked his sister by taking on the disguise of a poor bedraggled cuckoo. Hera’s (his sister’s) heart had melted upon seeing this poor defenceless bird and had taken it to her bosom for comfort. What happened next was legend; she’d never have married him after that, if she hadn’t had to.
Streuth, king of the gods, stood at the barbecue on the mount of Great Lumpia, land of the gods. Almost the whole family were there. After a hard week of godding, they were taking a well earned break at the weekend and were having something of a party. A barbecue, some drinks, and their favourite time-wasting pastime: mortal watching.
They had a great view, unimpeded. The property was well situated, high above the Earth, with a south facing garden. It was perfect weather. It would be a fine day. Streuth just hoped the bickering wouldn’t spoil the barbecue too much. When the family got together there were often arguments and sometimes, wars.
Streuth looked down at the barbecue doll, or “barbie doll” as it was often shortened to, lying on the barbecue. Blonde straw hair starting to singe, head full of sawdust; it was some tradition that no one understood anymore. The body and limbs were made up of various vegetables and meats: sausage arms, pork chop legs, potato body, scotch egg breasts. It was a popular god barbecue artefact, that represented something of a human sacrifice; something that, to the gods displeasure and disappointment had almost vanished from the face of the Earth in these modern times. It was also delicious, especially if laden with a tasty shrimp topping.
Streuth placed another shrimp precariously on the barbie. Anything to keep his wife (and twin sister) happy. Oh! He’d known some naggers in his eternal time. All the affairs with his mother, his other sisters and various nymphs, and of course the odd mortal here and there. At first they’d seemed so enticing and exotic, but after the act it was often, ‘Do you really need to have another Ambrosia?’, or, ‘You should do something about your greying beard, have you ever considered a nice wode tint?’ or, ‘You know, I’m old enough to be your mother!’
But if he was really honest, he just couldn’t help himself. He had to admit it. He was a sex addict. He had tried therapy, with his cousin Psycologesia, but after the third session they’d ended up in the sack. That had led to three new godlings.
Well, he thought, it was important to grow the family, especially in these modern times where the mortals had mostly turned their backs on their betters. Their betters, being the gods, whose main purpose was to demonstrate the virtues and morales that the mere mortals should follow.
Mmm, Streuth thought, as the aroma of the cooking barbie doll rose to his divine nostrils. It’ll be a great party, I just hope we have enough ambrosia in the cooler.
Hera appeared at his shoulder, hands seductively at his waist.
Streuth turned and kissed his long berating wife (and twin sister), ‘It’ll be a lovely party, dear.’ he said, ‘I found a right couple of clowns to watch. It’ll be most entertaining.’
‘Ah, how the mortals are just a gift that keeps on giving.’ Hera sighed. ‘Just don’t flirt with our other sisters, dear. You know how you get when you’ve had a few ambrosias.’
Streuth chuckled, ‘Yes, dear.’ he appeased.
Hera picked a shrimp from the barbie and popped it into her mouth, ‘So… who are this clownish pair you have an eye on?’
Thanks for reading / listening. So, curious as to who these clowns are? Listen or read on with:
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